2008 Woodie Awards
Video related to this article is available below.Issue date: 4/9/08 Section: News
*Penn Dems vote to switch endorsement
Colin Aska Kavanaugh
*This article appeared in the 2008 Joke Issue.
At the end of the day, Obama was believed to be just too polarizing.
In an emergency meeting last night, Penn Democrats voted to revoke their March endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) in favor of Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.).
Citing increasing unease over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright controversy - Obama's former pastor who used offensive language to criticize American foreign policy - the organization said it felt more comfortable supporting a less-controversial and more-unifying candidate.
College sophomore Lauren Burdette, president of the Penn Dems, said Clinton's unrelenting determination to win warranted a re-vote.
"She lied about landing in Bosnia under sniper fire, her credibility is slipping nationally, and she has no reasonable path to win the nomination," Burdette said. "And yet, she still hasn't quit. That's the kind of determination that Penn students should admire."
Many on Penn's campus are thrilled by the re-vote, including College Republicans president Zac Byer, a College sophomore and token conservative.
"I think it's a brilliant idea," Byer said. "Despite the whole impeachment thing, Republicans have always loved the Clintons."
College senior Abby Huntsman, the other token conservative on campus, agreed.
However, Penn for Obama co-president Michael Stratton, a Wharton freshman, said this was a change he couldn't believe in.
"Obama is so handsome and speaks so well. I'm pretty sure this is an instance of reverse sexism," Stratton said.
Even Penn for Hillary showed some resistance to the re-vote.
"We were hoping that Penn Dems would wait to endorse until after the Pennsylvania primary," so that members would be as informed as possible before re-endorsing, said College freshman and Penn for Hillary spokesman Patrick Bauer. "But we're cool with this, instead."
In recent weeks, Penn Dems members started to have second thoughts about their Obama endorsement.
"The first thing that made us uneasy was the Obama campaign's desire to register new young voters," said College sophomore Mukul Sharma, Penn Dems vice president.
"Who wants to be harassed 12 times a day to register to vote?" Sharma said. "I don't want to be bothered that much, but if I did I'd be supporting Obama for sure."
Burdette agreed.
"Any candidate propelled by student activists is putting this nation at risk," she said.
"If we didn't re-vote, Penn Dems would be helping surrender the country to marijuana-smoking, Cheeto-eating, credit-card-toting, Starbucks-sipping students," Burdette said. "And as a student group, we can't let that happen."
At the end of the day, Obama was believed to be just too polarizing.
In an emergency meeting last night, Penn Democrats voted to revoke their March endorsement of Sen. Barack Obama (D-Ill.) in favor of Sen. Hillary Clinton (D-N.Y.).
Citing increasing unease over the Rev. Jeremiah Wright controversy - Obama's former pastor who used offensive language to criticize American foreign policy - the organization said it felt more comfortable supporting a less-controversial and more-unifying candidate.
College sophomore Lauren Burdette, president of the Penn Dems, said Clinton's unrelenting determination to win warranted a re-vote.
"She lied about landing in Bosnia under sniper fire, her credibility is slipping nationally, and she has no reasonable path to win the nomination," Burdette said. "And yet, she still hasn't quit. That's the kind of determination that Penn students should admire."
Many on Penn's campus are thrilled by the re-vote, including College Republicans president Zac Byer, a College sophomore and token conservative.
"I think it's a brilliant idea," Byer said. "Despite the whole impeachment thing, Republicans have always loved the Clintons."
College senior Abby Huntsman, the other token conservative on campus, agreed.
However, Penn for Obama co-president Michael Stratton, a Wharton freshman, said this was a change he couldn't believe in.
"Obama is so handsome and speaks so well. I'm pretty sure this is an instance of reverse sexism," Stratton said.
Even Penn for Hillary showed some resistance to the re-vote.
"We were hoping that Penn Dems would wait to endorse until after the Pennsylvania primary," so that members would be as informed as possible before re-endorsing, said College freshman and Penn for Hillary spokesman Patrick Bauer. "But we're cool with this, instead."
In recent weeks, Penn Dems members started to have second thoughts about their Obama endorsement.
"The first thing that made us uneasy was the Obama campaign's desire to register new young voters," said College sophomore Mukul Sharma, Penn Dems vice president.
"Who wants to be harassed 12 times a day to register to vote?" Sharma said. "I don't want to be bothered that much, but if I did I'd be supporting Obama for sure."
Burdette agreed.
"Any candidate propelled by student activists is putting this nation at risk," she said.
"If we didn't re-vote, Penn Dems would be helping surrender the country to marijuana-smoking, Cheeto-eating, credit-card-toting, Starbucks-sipping students," Burdette said. "And as a student group, we can't let that happen."
Viewing Comments 1 - 10 of 21
Lee GIABENELLI
posted 4/09/08 @ 5:59 AM EST
This is the most ridiculious thing I've ever heard. "Determination" does not equate success - therefore the group and Hillary should "FOLD."
James
posted 4/09/08 @ 6:38 AM EST
Obama? Polarizing? That's just plain silly. If they can't see how polarizing the Clintons are, they must have been asleep ovr the past ten years. Wright is an idiot, but he is not Obama. (Continued…)
New Sweden
posted 4/09/08 @ 6:49 AM EST
Hillary Clinton has an even closer adviser than Mark Penn who has supported a trade deal with Colombia that she opposes -- and he'll be harder to dismiss. (Continued…)
Steve Johnson
posted 4/09/08 @ 7:53 AM EST
"She lied about landing in Bosnia under sniper fire, her credibility is slipping nationally, and she has no reasonable path to win the nomination," Burdette said. (Continued…)
Kirk Davis
posted 4/09/08 @ 9:05 AM EST
*** It's a JOKE people !!!!! ***
Is satire THAT unrecognizable? This is a satirical piece, meant as a joke, and looks like something written for The Onion. (Continued…)
eyesopen
posted 4/09/08 @ 9:21 AM EST
I'm pretty sure this is an April Fool's joke. Token conservative? Republicans have always loved the Clintons? Obama polarizing? And the last sentence is a dead giveaway. (Continued…)
S. J. Kerins
posted 4/09/08 @ 9:25 AM EST
Many eons ago I opted for Northwestern, Columbia and then Cambridge in the UK, turning down University of Pennsylvania twice, as I had been told it was one of the most racially insular of the Ivy League schools. (Continued…)
j
posted 4/09/08 @ 11:42 AM EST
wow. unless lee stetson actually is voldemort, i'm fairly certain that this is the joke issue. i sincerely hope that there's just one troll posting nonsense. (Continued…)
Alum '07
posted 4/09/08 @ 12:57 PM EST
Someone should send this to the Clinton campaign. It'd be amusing if they posted it on their website without realizing...
Alum
posted 4/09/08 @ 1:29 PM EST
For those of you who are taking this article seriously, I have one word for you:
CONTEXT
Look at some of the other articles in this issue. IT'S THE JOKE ISSUE, YOU MORONS. (Continued…)
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