When universities make things unnecessarily complicated, students pay the price. And complication is exactly what defines Penn's system for student payment. We can use Dining Dollars to eat at some on-campus dining locations, but not at others. Meanwhile, there's Penn Cash, which can pay for laundry machines, printers, on-campus dining and textbooks. (1 )

Universities are cathedrals of higher learning. While the congregants at St. Agatha's may be united through their faith in God, students here are united by their faith in Almighty Education. We place sacrifices on the altar (about 40,000 of them a year), beseech our prophetic professors for their wisdom and lay prostrate every Saturday night before the holy Trinity of Smokes, Blarney and Copa - Gloria in excelsis vino! Like congregations of faith, students devote a considerable amount of time and energy to serving others.

The prosecution argues that it was a fatal attraction. The defense calls this an empty argument. For three trials over the past two years, three different juries have slinked away from taking a unanimous stance. When it comes to Irina Malinovskaya, the Wharton undergrad charged with murdering her ex-boyfriend's girlfriend Irina Zlotnikov, the American justice system deems her not guilty by default - a result of three hung juries. (19 )